Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

later

Gwayne and Vysella pick them up from the airport with a massive poster-paper sign that says “WELCOME HOME ALICENT”. Literally massive— as in, the two of them both are required to hold it upright, Alicent going bright red upon seeing it, Rhaenyra laughing aloud as Aegon appears from behind it, looking a little (a lot) embarrassed.

(It turns out he’d asked Gwayne and Vysella if he could tag along, but had no interest in partaking in any sort of cheesy welcome — but the hug he gives Alicent sort of says otherwise).

***

Shortly upon returning to London, Alicent decides she won’t be returning to work, after all. She has more than enough in savings to sustain her for a while, has for many years, but had been to scared to ever use it.

“It’s been nice, not having my blood pressure spiking twice a minute,” Alicent says to Rhaenyra upon making the decision. “They’ll be fine without me. Well — maybe not — but that’s not my problem, is it?”

“No,” Rhaenyra says, laughing. “It absolutely is not.”

Alicent still wants to go back to work in public relations, eventually — what that means, though, is something she’ll figure out later, because she can.

She can figure it out later, with Rhaenyra. Together.

***

Alicent is curled up on the couch watching telly while Rhaenyra reads a book on the balcony. It’s sunny. There are birds singing. The door to the balcony is open to let the breeze in, for them both to be able to occasionally tell each other spontaneous thoughts— but mostly, they sit in a comfortable, quiet silence.

Alicent looks from the TV screen to Rhaenyra, whose eyebrow is furrowed as she contemplates whatever sentence she’s reading in her book.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Rhaenyra looks up from her book. Catches Alicent’s eye.

Smiles gently.

Home. I’m home.

***

Notice isn’t required because Alicent hadn’t even started at the London offices, meaning the two of them now have endless free time ahead —

So, they decide to travel.

It’s a well-needed break; possibly even the first extended one Alicent’s had in recent memory. It marks the first time since she started going to school that she’s ever had any real time off—

No obligations, answering only to herself and the ones she loves.

The night before they leave, Aegon, Gwayne, Vysella and Laena make a bit of a fuss — talking about how Alicent’s only just gotten back and she’s already being whisked away by Rhaenyra.

“I’m quite in demand, as you can see,” Alicent says airily to a chuckling Rhaenyra, and she’s half-joking, but the feeling of being so welcomed back home really does have her feeling a little giddy inside.

“Watch as they elope in fucking Mykonos, or some shit,” Aegon grumbles.

Vysella shakes her head vigorously.

“No. Absolutely not. I understand you’ve only just gotten back together,” Vysella says to them both, “and there’s a lot that needs to be sorted. But hear me now: if either of you even think about doing something like that, I will have words.”

“She’ll have words,” Gwayne repeats.

***

It feels like her and Rhaenyra go everywhere —

Tuscany, where they stay in a countryside villa, visit vineyards, where Alicent subsequently learns Rhaenyra is conversationally fluent in Italian —

How were we together for six years and I had no idea —?

— It just never came up!

— And Alicent spends the entirety of a wine tasting wanting to drag her into a bathroom somewhere. Rhaenyra figures out that Alicent is all hot and bothered halfway through and leans into it even further, Alicent slowly considering faking a medical emergency just to get Rhaenyra alone somewhere —

Until a woman in their group starts eyeing Rhaenyra with bedroom eyes and Alicent spends the rest of the tour holding Rhaenyra’s hand and making it very clear she is very taken, thank you very much, you wench.

After that, it’s the Amalfi coast, a hotel by the sea that they hardly leave. Room service, Rhaenyra pressing Alicent into a king-sized mattress, touching her until she’s breathless, spent.

Zurich, Michelin star restaurants, an art gallery where Rhaenyra makes some crude joke about a penis in a painting, and Alicent is so exhausted that she actually gets the giggles, to the point where strangers start to give them weird looks, and Rhaenyra has to escort her out, both of them with tears in their eyes, stomach aching, Alicent furious with Rhaenyra for making her laugh at a fucking penis joke, what am I, a teenaged boy?

Dubrovnik, where they take a sunset boat tour in the Adriatic Sea, Rhaenyra draping her jacket over Alicent’s shoulders when she sees her shivering a little.

Ibiza, on a private beach, Alicent unapologetically gazing upon Rhaenyra sunning herself, Rhaenyra grinning up at her when she notices, stretching herself out on purpose, to which Alicent asks how private is this beach and Rhaenyra says pretty private but I’m not about to get sand up my bits, to which Alicent starts packing up their things without asking —

Vienna, where they go see an orchestra and Rhaenyra falls asleep within half an hour while Alicent is brought to tears.

They end their trip in Marseilles; wine, oysters, coffee, the sun.

Alicent brings them croissants one morning when Rhaenyra sleeps in, which they don’t end up eating for at least a few hours upon Rhaenyra pulling Alicent into the bed, underneath the sheets, kissing her way down Alicent’s body before —

***

“What’s on your mind, darling?”

Alicent looks at Rhaenyra, who is gazing at her with curiosity in her eyes. They’re sitting on the balcony of their hotel, looking out to the sea as golden hour settles upon them. And Alicent doesn’t quite know — all she knows is that for the past two weeks, she’s felt a little off, a little more exhausted than usual, a little unsettled.

(She hadn’t noticed she’d been carrying it outwardly — of course, Rhaenyra does.)

“I don’t know,” Alicent says honestly. “I feel— it’s nice, here, with you, but…”

“Is it time to go home, do you think?”

And Rhaenyra’s always known in this way — what Alicent needs, what she’s feeling, when she’s feeling restless — before Alicent herself can put words to it. She nods slowly.

Routine. She needs routine again. Alicent loves waking up in a different country with Rhaenyra, but setting their itinerary the morning of is starting to drive her a little bit crazy, and it’s been two whole months of it.

“I think so. Yes,” she says. “Is that — would that be alright?”

Is that alright? I hope that’s alright. I don’t want to be an inconvenience —

Rhaenyra nods, reaches over, brushes her hand through Alicent’s sun-lightened hair, then her cheek. Alicent leans into it, looking over at her; Rhaenyra looks ethereal in this light, the gold in the sky making her eyes a bright blue, a glow to her skin that makes her look angelic.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

“…Then let’s go home.”

Alicent just watches, smiling as Rhaenyra takes Alicent’s hand, lifts it to kiss her palm, closes her eyes.

***

Upon their (actual) return to London, there’s a bit of a back-and-forth about whether or not Alicent should just move into Rhaenyra’s flat, or get a place of her own — the latter being an option neither of them really think makes any sense, so that one is axed pretty quickly.

So, for the time being, Alicent settles in Rhaenyra’s flat.

It’s fine, at first, but it feels foreign; she still feels like she has to ask Rhaenyra if she can use certain things (of course you can, Rhaenyra always says), sort-of-kind-of-really loathes the coffee table Rhaenyra said she’d haphazardly bought at some vintage store just out of town because it was on sale. Alicent feels a little bit like she’s a guest most of the time.

Alicent expresses as much to Rhaenyra after a while, and in response, Rhaenyra takes her out furniture shopping — they drive to various antique shops around town for a full day, where Alicent spends hours enthusiastically inspecting patinas, inlay patterns, provenances; she barters with a shopkeeper and leaves with a beautifully refinished walnut coffee table, an authentic Tiffany lamp, and a wide smile.

“…Okay,” Rhaenyra begrudgingly admits upon seeing the coffee table in place of the old one for the first time, “yeah, that’s— that’s loads better.”

Alicent places a stack of nice, ceramic coasters they’d also picked up along the way.

“Use those, please,” she warns Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra just grins and wraps her arms around Alicent from behind.

“Yes, darling.” She kisses the side of Alicent’s neck.

***

Otto tries to call Alicent and Gwayne at least once every two weeks — neither of them pick up. He even sends a letter to each of them, to which Alicent brings hers over, unopened, and her and Gwayne ceremoniously throw out their unopened letters together. Vysella takes out the trash shortly thereafter.

“I mean,” Gwayne says over tea one evening at his and Vysella’s flat, “I was fairly clear that I never wanted to see him again — unless I was too drunk and actually said something completely different?”

“I’d say you were clear, sweet,” Vysella says. She’s playing some game on the telly while Alicent and Gwayne hang out.

“I just -” Alicent sighs. “I can’t help but…feel badly. For him.”

“Of course you do,” Gwayne says. “You’re a human being with empathy and emotions — but don’t let dad’s rhetoric convince you that that’s a bad thing.”

“I have so many things I want to say to him,” Alicent says, sighing as she leans back in her chair. After a while, she turns back to Gwayne. “…Did it help you? To say what you did?”

“Can’t remember,” Gwayne says shrugging, “I was drunk.”

Alicent glares.

Gwayne rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine — honestly? I don’t — I don’t know. I mean, the relief was there for a bit, but — I don’t know. But fuck it. I achieved the end goal. Doesn’t really matter how I feel about how I got there.”

“How is it that you seem more resolved in cutting him off than I do?” Alicent asks, bewildered —

For such a long time, Gwayne had put up with it, Gwayne had done nothing but defend Alicent while simultaneously keeping the peace between her and Otto, Gwayne had been the one to convince Alicent to just keep up appearances so she could still get that inheritance.

Gwayne looks at Vysella, who seems to now be very engaged in — well, actually, Alicent doesn’t know, so she turns to to telly and sees Vysella is playing a farming simulator like it’s a war game before turning back to Gwayne, who looks at Alicent like—

That. That’s why.

***

Still, Alicent decides she’ll visit him. One last time. Just to say what she needs to say to him. Unannounced, so that she can have the upper hand for the first time.

Rhaenyra comes with her; Alicent’s not going to go inside, because if she does, she might not be able to say what she wants to say, so Alicent asks Rhaenyra to wait in the car — which Rhaenyra agrees to, under the strict condition that she can step out the moment it seems like things are escalating.

But of course, it’s never that easy. Not when it comes to Otto. Especially not when it comes to Lysera, who is the one who opens the door when Alicent knocks.

“Alicent,” Lysera says, not bothering to smile because she doesn’t have to, Otto isn’t here for her to need to put on any act.

Alicent had been preparing the entire drive to see Otto. Not for this. She did not consider Lysera to be important enough to prepare anything to say to her, other than some kind of variation of fuck you forever.

“…Is my father here?”

“I’m not so sure that’s your business, is it?”

Alicent frowns. “Excuse me?”

“Well,” Lysera says, crossing her arms, “I’ll have you know that you and your brother’s tantrums hurt him quite a bit. I’m not sure if he’d have been able to pick up the pieces if I wasn’t there to help him.”

“How very noble of you.”

“You know, Alicent,” Lysera says, stepping forward — Alicent does not give her an inch. “If I may -”

You obviously may fucking not —

“I think…I think, unfortunately, your father’s right. I think it was your fault that Gwayne said what he said -”

“- Gwayne’s an adult,” Alicent says stiffly. “My influence has hardly made a difference in his life -”

“- Which is a good thing, really,” Lysera says, eyes still friendly somehow in that insidious way, and holy shit Alicent hasn’t seen this side of her before — the side where she isn’t in full view of Otto and Gwayne, where it’s just her and Alicent, where she’s not under scrutiny of anyone but Alicent. It’s pure evil, and Alicent is already feeling escalated. “I know he’s already said this to you, at Gwayne’s wedding, but…”

Don’t  —

Alicent’s hands tremble at her sides, anger rising like bile in her throat. She clenches them into fists, nails biting into her palms.

Lysera takes another step closer — she puts on a look of sadness on her face, as though sympathetic of Alicent. Still, Alicent does not give way.

“You’ve always been a disappointment to him, Alicent— and he thinks you would have been a disappointment to your mother, too. Overcompensating with ambition because you’re hollow on the inside.” She steps back slightly, shrugging like sorry not sorry. “His words, I’m afraid.”

And suddenly, instead of fury, a calm settles over Alicent. It almost feels dangerous. It feels too dangerous. But still —

“Lysera?” Alicent hears her father’s voice approaching. “Who is it, this late at night? I mean, really -” he stops in his tracks when he sees her. “- Alicent?”

She ignores him, because Lysera’s words are still violent in her head, but she’s calm, and once her father starts participating she might stop being calm —

“And you, Lysera,” Alicent says, her voice low, deliberate, “has it been fun, playing queen in a house you never belonged in -?”

“Alicent,” Otto growls warningly.

Lysera’s nostrils flare. “I’d recommend you proceed cautiously -”

Alicent steps forward, and Lysera is the one who falters.

“- Despite what he says, his biggest failure isn’t me, or Gwayne — it’s you.”

“Enough!” Otto exclaims.

Lysera’s eyes narrow, something cruel flickering across her face. “Your father here has told me that your mother would have hated what you’ve become. Hated—”

“Lysera—wh— please,” Otto says, and even he seems surprised at the ruthlessness in his wife’s voice—

Lysera ignores him, too. “She would have been disappointed, I know I would be —”

Alicent doesn’t hear the rest. She doesn’t want to. It’s like a dam breaking inside her, all the years of biting her tongue, of being polite, of swallowing her pride—all for this, for a woman who only knows how to hurt —

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Alicent spits, voice trembling. “You’re nothing, a waste of oxygen -”

And before she can brace herself, Lysera’s hand flies out, sharp and sudden. The slap cracks through the air. Alicent’s cheek burns as she recovers — she hears the sound of the car door opening behind her, and Otto has stepped forward, his eyes wide with shock, dismay.

Alicent’s eyes are watering from the surprise of it, but she contains it, not in front of Lysera or Otto, never —

“She was ten times the woman you’ll ever be,” Alicent says instead, still deathly calm, “you fucking cunt.”

Lysera’s eyes widen, and looks like she’s about to rebuke, but then Rhaenyra’s beside Alicent —

“Lay your hands on her again,” Rhaenyra snarls, “I dare you -”

Lysera rolls her eyes wildly. “Of course you’re here -! Join the party - on my property, I’ll have you know —”

Otto steps forward aggressively.

“This has gone long enough — Lysera, calm yourself —”

“I want you to listen to me very closely,” Rhaenyra says, stepping forward, looking down at Lysera somehow even though Rhaenyra’s barely taller — and her voice is commanding, it does not falter, not once.

“I have remained patient each time I’ve had the displeasure of being in your presence, because Alicent has asked me to. But that patience has long since passed its expiration date — don’t speak -!” Rhaenyra snaps when Lysera looks like she’s about to make a snarky remark, and Alicent expects Lysera to speak anyway but then she shuts her mouth, and Alicent thinks —

This is the fucking worst and Lysera is the fucking worst and my father is doing absolutely nothing about it, but Seven above Rhaenyra is beautiful like this, leaning forward, nose in a scowl, eyes dark with fury, the vein protruding from her neck —

Rhaenyra continues. “I have the means, the lawyers, and the time to very personally and very thoroughly ensure that your small little life becomes a living hell. Do you understand? You hold no power here.”

At first, Lysera seems a little at a loss, Otto just staring at Rhaenyra— but, because Rhaenyra still has the upper hand, she just stands there, staring Lysera down.

“Have you ever fought your own battles before, girl?” Lysera says, tearing her eyes from Rhaenyra to Alicent, “this is what happens when girls grow up without their mothers — perhaps that’s why you depend on — on your female companions to -”

And, without another word, without hearing Lysera out, without saying a word to her father —

How could you not defend me how could you let her hit me without saying anything how could you how could you —

Alicent turns and walks away.

(Otto had never hit her, but she remembers moments in her childhood where he had looked at her like he’d wanted to, and she wonders if he’s satisfied to have seen it happen, now — his hands still clean, the punishment she deserves —)

He doesn’t matter, she realizes as she walks away, Lysera doesn’t matter — she matters even less than my father does, they are nothing, they have never been anything, I know it, Rhaenyra knows it.

Rhaenyra follows.

“Alicent? Are you okay to drive -?” Rhaenyra asks quietly as they go towards the car. Alicent just nods and gets into the driver’s seat, Rhaenyra going around to sit in the passenger’s seat, looking at her.

Rhaenyra will protect me. I am safe with her.

“... Alicent?”

Alicent, again, doesn’t respond. Turns the ignition, starts driving, heart still racing a little, her cheek stinging.

She slowly pulls out of the neighbourhood where she grew up, leaves it behind — she could tell Otto what’s happened, but he would just defend Lysera, and Lysera doing this is enough, it’s enough for her to never go back, she’ll never go back again —

Rhaenyra will protect me. I am safe with her.

It’s a heady feeling, the one that rushes through her  — one that Alicent has had time and time again, but one she hasn’t had since they were together, years ago. That feeling of seeing Rhaenyra Targaryen standing up for her, seeing those who underestimated her shrink back— first in shock, then fear.

And Alicent doesn’t have to go back, not ever again, because she’s safe with Rhaenyra, she’s loved, Rhaenyra will protect her, and Alicent will protect Rhaenyra, too.

“Alicent, love —”

Alicent is desperately overwhelmed with two extraordinarily conflicting feelings — the hurt from what’s just happened, the love she has for Rhaenyra — her body doesn’t know how to decide.

It’s too intense, it’s ballooning in her chest, swelling, and she resolves to pull over when she can instead of driving further —

She spots a parking lot off the side of the street, shrouded in darkness, no other cars in the area — this place has never been a busy one, always a little lonely, always a little quiet, which made her even more lonely on the days where she’d be here without Gwayne —

Alicent pulls in, puts the car in park. They sit there in silence for a moment.

“…Darling,” Rhaenyra whispers, “I’m so sorry -”

Alicent decides to let her body decide for itself.

Rhaenyra’s barely finished speaking before Alicent is undoing her own seatbelt, rushing towards Rhaenyra, crawling over the console and squirming a little before she’s able straddle her lap and kissing her — help me forget, she begs as she licks into Rhaenyra’s mouth —

I love you, help me forget, I only want to think of you, only you—

She hopes Rhaenyra knows what she wants as she grinds herself against Rhaenyra, who only pauses for a moment before pushing back into her, kissing her back with fervour; she reaches around to undo her own seatbelt, Alicent backing away only while she does so before she’s back on her.

She hikes her skirt up to her hips, grabs Rhaenyra’s hand, takes two of her fingers and lavishes them with her tongue as Rhaenyra watches, open-mouthed as Alicent wets them as much as she can so Rhaenyra doesn’t have to bother with foreplay, shoves Rhaenyra’s hand underneath her underwear, where Rhaenyra murmurs “okay, darling” when she slips them inside, Alicent grasping at her shoulders as she gasps —

“Fuck me,” Alicent commands, “don’t hold back -”

Rhaenyra’s breathing hard, brow furrowed. “Alicent— are you sure you’re alright -”

At this, Alicent draws back, takes Rhaenyra’s chin in her hand, stares at her. “I’m sure — I need it, I need you, I — oh, fuck -”

Alicent gasps when Rhaenyra nods halfway through her sentence and curls, starting a brutal pace— it almost hurts but it’s good, it’s everything, it’s all-consuming —

Alicent squeezes her eyes shut and rolls her hips to match Rhaenyra’s rhythm, panting hard — she backs up on Rhaenyra’s lap slightly to give her some more room, her head thudding against the roof of the car — Rhaenyra starts to ask are you okay but Alicent just kisses Rhaenyra deep, licks into her mouth, bites at her lower lip — Rhaenyra understands, she shifts her arm slightly as she fucks Alicent deep, hard, and Alicent’s already clenching around her fingers but she doesn’t care, she wants Rhaenyra to render her senseless —

Rhaenyra moans aloud when she feels the rush of wetness that rushes out of Alicent when she comes, and she starts to slow but Alicent doesn’t. She, instead, leans backwards, against the dashboard for Rhaenyra to get a better angle and keeps jogging her hips —

“Don’t fucking stop” —

And Rhaenyra doesn’t, and she adds a third, pressing her thumb against Alicent’s clit, and the windows are fogging slightly, and it’s almost too much but it’s fucking incredible and Rhaenyra will always protect her, Rhaenyra will always keep her safe —

“Okay?” Rhaenyra whispers as she thrusts, and her lips are swollen as she looks up at Alicent, and Alicent loves her, she loves the way Rhaenyra knows precisely how to fuck her, how she’s always known, and Alicent’s just nodding before she’s reaching down and grabbing Rhaenyra’s free hand and starts to suck on her index finger, Rhaenyra’s lips parting, her eyes dark when she slips a second in, and Alicent is moving her hips all over again even though she’s far too overstimulated at this point, but it’s perfect —

Rhaenyra doubles down inside of her, her fingers pressing against Alicent’s tongue as she does, matching her movements below — the dual stimulation has Alicent whimpering as she chases her second peak, lavishing Rhaenyra’s fingers with her tongue, grazing them with her teeth —

“Good girl,” Rhaenyra moans, and Alicent freezes as she opens her mouth to cry out her last orgasm, Rhaenyra tugging her hair with her newly-freed hand and fucking her through it, and it’s enough, Rhaenyra has always been enough, Rhaenyra has always known what Alicent needs. Alicent’s moaning aloud, not caring how loud it is, not caring how she might look, until her hips slow, Rhaenyra slowing with her.

Her shoulders relax slightly, and Alicent slumps forward to lean against Rhaenyra, her forehead pressing against hers, damp with sweat.

Rhaenyra’s hand moves to her cheek, her thumb brushes a tear away.

“Alright, love?” she murmurs as she gently slips out of Alicent. Alicent nods; Rhaenyra lifts her other hand to trace Alicent’s lips with her own wetness. Alicent wraps her hand around Rhaenyra’s wrist and licks herself off, not once breaking eye contact with Rhaenyra as she does —

When she’s done, she leans forward and kisses her, their tongues meeting, Alicent mingling the taste of herself with Rhaenyra before drawing back. Rhaenyra wraps her arms around Alicent’s waist and holds her as she cries, she cries, Rhaenyra’s murmuring it’s alright, darling, and I love you, I love you.

When Alicent’s gained enough control of her faculties back, Alicent kisses Rhaenyra again, soft.

“Thank you,” she whispers, clearing her throat. “Sorry.”

“…Of course,” Rhaenyra says. “No need to apologize for that.

Alicent laughs sheepishly, lifts herself off of Rhaenyra and climbs back into the driver’s seat. She turns on the ignition, cracks a window as they pull out of the parking lot.

“I’ll only ask one more time, swear it: but are you sure you’re alright?” Rhaenyra asks.

“…No,” Alicent says, shoulder-checking before merging back onto the road. She gives Rhaenyra a quick, sweet smile before she sets her eyes back on the road. “But I’m definitely better, now.”

Rhaenyra reaches over, places a hand on Alicent’s shoulder and rubs her thumb back and forth.

“Good,” she murmurs. “Happy to help.”

***

The soft click click click of the turn signal as she merges lanes. The white noise of wheels on asphalt.

“…Our mother would take us out on these walks,” Alicent says after a long stretch of quiet driving. “Point out the different flowers in our neighbours’ yards.”

Rhaenyra remains silent, but she looks to Alicent as she listens.

“Sometimes, we’d — we’d pluck a few. She was very clear that this was stealing, of course, and that we absolutely were not allowed to do that without her around — but we’d pluck a few, and we’d come home with a little bouquet for our father.”

Alicent sniffles slightly, wiping away a tear that trickles down her cheek.

“I hope he remembers. The three of us, coming home, calling for him. My mother describing what each flower was to us. I hope he remembers.”

Rhaenyra reaches over, takes one of Alicent’s hands off the steering wheel, holds it.

***

They lie in bed that evening, Alicent telling Rhaenyra more stories of her mother — as though, by bringing these stories into another person’s world, the memory of her can grow.

They don’t speak much more about Lysera — other than cussing her out, Rhaenyra half-jokingly wondering if she should just try to buy Otto’s house and have them evicted. But eventually, it just turns into only stories of Alicent’s mother — because Lysera doesn’t deserve to have her presence made any more known. Not here. Not in the safety of their bedroom, not in the safety of Rhaenyra’s arms.

“She sounded beautiful,” Rhaenyra murmurs, tears in her own eyes as she holds Alicent. “Just like you. She would be so proud. So proud, sweetling.”

And that night, despite Lysera — despite Alicent not getting what she was hoping for out of the trip in the least — she sleeps well, Rhaenyra stroking her hair, Rhaenyra pressing kisses to the top of her head.

I am good enough, she thinks to herself as she falls asleep, I am good enough to be loved by someone like Rhaenyra. I am good enough to be loved by someone like Gwayne, like Vysella. I am good enough. I am enough.

This is enough.

***

“I’ll throttle her,” Gwayne growls over the phone when Alicent tells him what’s happened, “I’ll get my entire law firm to sue her for being a fucking slug— which is illegal, actually, for a person to transmogrify into a slug, I’ll have her know -”

“Gwayne,” Alicent says. “While I appreciate the creativity -”

“- And father saw it, too? Fuck’s sake. Maybe it’ll finally -”

Gwayne stops before he even says it, because both he and Alicent have long learned that their father will never finally do anything. They have, together, been learning to accept that they cannot change him. That they can only control what they can control.

“It’s alright, Gwayne,” Alicent says softly. “It doesn’t matter.”

A long pause on the phone.

“Yeah,” he says, quiet, but with a smile audible in his voice. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter.”

***

Weeks later, there’s a massive banquet put on by Corlys to celebrate some big acquisition — one that, shockingly, Aegon was a critical part of.

“He’s unpolished as all of the seven hells,” Corlys remarks, “but no one can deny— the lad has people skills.”

Rhaenyra and Alicent get ready together — Alicent dons her favourite black strapless black dress, does her makeup in the bathroom, and emerges to see Rhaenyra wearing a dark, rich red jumpsuit with a plunging neckline that should honestly be illegal —

“Gods above, Rhaenyra,” she says, throat suddenly very dry; Rhaenyra appears to be going through the same thing, dark eyes absolutely devouring Alicent from top to bottom.

The thing is, they’re already late, but then Rhaenyra’s on her and fucking up Alicent’s lipstick anyway, and before they know it, Rhaenyra’s marking the insides of Alicent’s thighs with her own on the kitchen counter, eating her out while thrusting into her with two fingers —

Just a quickie, Rhaenyra had whispered into Alicent’s mouth, to which Alicent had glared at her and said never call it that again before pushing herself up on the counter and spreading her legs for Rhaenyra anyway —

***

“…You’re late,” Gwayne remarks when they get there, narrowing his eyes at Alicent. “You hate being late.”

“Yes, Alicent,” Laena says, and Alicent just glares at her like don’t you dare — “why is that?”

And then Gwayne’s eyes are going from confused to wide and closing entirely, walking away saying no, nope, sorry I asked, going to go find Vysella bye.

Alicent just presses her lips together and shoves Laena. “You absolute shit-disturbing little freak -”

Laena pulls her into a tight hug. “Gods, I’ve missed you.”

***

Something that Alicent realizes she did not consider until approximately half an hour in: Mysaria still works for Targaryen Financial Enterprises.

“Rhaenyra,” Mysaria says, smiling as she leans in to kiss Rhaenyra’s cheek, then the other, turning to Alicent to do the same. Mysaria looks gorgeous in a flowing black dress, hair up, Alicent imagines Rhaenyra undoing her hair, Rhaenyra taking that dress off —

“Mysaria,” Alicent says when they draw back, “I trust Japan was nice?”

“Oh, very,” Mysaria says, swirling her glass of champagne. “It’s nice to see you back here, Alicent.”

I’m sure it is.

“Likewise.” Alicent just nods and smiles.

(How hard she tries to not sound flagrantly bitchy is up for debate.)

I do not want to be here, and I especially do not want you to be here.

“I’m going to get a glass of wine — do you want one, sweetling?” she says to Rhaenyra.

“Yes — let’s go,” Rhaenyra says. “We’ll see you later, Mysaria.”

And Alicent appreciates this; Rhaenyra’s acquiescence to Alicent taking the lead, not trying to linger around Mysaria, not protesting— but Mysaria’s presence brings a new kind of shadow within her — one she had more or less forgotten about since she’d returned home, one that she hadn’t had to think about.

For now, though, she just watches proudly as Corlys praises Aegon to a roomful of people during his speech. Aegon is still Aegon — rough around the edges, irreverent still, but Alicent senses the shift that’s taken place within him.

How wonderful, Alicent thinks to herself as she grasps Rhaenyra’s hand beside her. To get to watch someone grow.

“I’m proud of you, Aegon,” she says, wrapping an arm around him and kissing the side of his head. When he steps back, his face is bright red.

“Shut up,” he mutters — but then he scratches his nose a little, not looking at Alicent when he says: “…Thank you.”

***

In the car ride back, Rhaenyra says:

“I’ve been asked to return to the company. By Corlys.”

Alicent is, at first, happy for her; Rhaenyra had mentioned a few times now how she’d felt a little unmoored since she’d left and turned down the succession offer. But then— she remembers.

“…Would that mean you’d be working with her again?”

Rhaenyra isn’t so clueless as to needing to ask who this her is. She’s quiet for a bit, which answers Alicent’s question in and of itself. And Alicent doesn’t want to be selfish, but it was Rhaenyra, after all, who crossed that professional line. She purses her lips, looks out the window instead of saying anything.

“I wouldn’t have to work on the same team as her,” Rhaenyra finally says. “I’ve been wanting to work in the social impact sector, anyway, so -”

“But you’d still see her.”

Alicent looks to see that Rhaenyra presses her lips together and nods. “…Yes.”

She doesn’t respond — not until they get back to Rhaenyra’s — their, Alicent has to remind herself almost each time, it’s their flat — because Alicent knows herself (and Rhaenyra) well enough to stop reacting on impulse.

Instead, she just looks out the window — breathes in, out. They’ll resolve it. Alicent is upset, she’s angry — but they’ll fix it.

***

Once they step in to their flat, Rhaenyra is the first to speak.

“…Alicent -?”

“Why did it have to be Mysaria?” Alicent sits at the kitchen island, where Rhaenyra joins.

Rhaenyra frowns. “…As in?”

Alicent sighs, closing her eyes and scratching at her forehead.

“Just — Rhaenyra — it’s not fair, what you’re — what you’re asking me — and I know you’re not asking for my permission to go back -”

“I am,” Rhaenyra says, taking Alicent’s hand.

“- Okay, well— I know you mean well, but — I mean, really, Rhaenyra.” Alicent looks at Rhaenyra, trying not to be combative, trying not to be petty, “you — you’re the one who’s put yourself in this position — you’re the one who slept with her?”

Rhaenyra sighs. “…Right.”

Alicent rests her elbow on the island, running it through her hair. It’s moments like these ones she’s been dreading — the ones where they address the hurt they’d caused each other between then and now — but if they are to embark on their second chance, it’s a necessary pain.

So, Alicent steels herself. Says the hard thing.

“You told me you weren’t doing it out of spite,” Alicent says quietly, not able to meet Rhaenyra’s eyes, “…is that true?”

And Alicent hopes, she hopes that Rhaenyra will be honest, she hopes they can be honest with each other —

“Yes. Of course it is -”

Alicent looks up to Rhaenyra, imploring, challenging, not responding — try again. Rhaenyra looks at Alicent like please don’t make me, but Alicent doesn’t back down.

Rhaenyra looks up to the ceiling for a moment as though thinking — Alicent sees her throat bob before she turns her gaze back to her.

“…No,” Rhaenyra whispers. “No, it’s not true.”

Alicent bites her lower lip, nods — Rhaenyra is telling the truth, now, like she wanted, but it still hurts, it hurts to know that she would have done something so flagrantly cruel. But, at the same time, wasn’t Alicent cruel, first? Wasn’t she the one who left?

But did have to be Mysaria? The one person Alicent had actively seen as a threat, the one they had actively argued about?

“Alicent.” Rhaenyra leans in, places a hand on her cheek. “You have to know that — I didn’t — I didn’t realize it at the time, not right away — we’d just gone to get drinks, and you’d just told me that we should stop speaking -”

“Rhaenyra,” Alicent says quietly, “I think we’d best take blame out of this, if we’re to have a…a productive conversation -”

“I know,” Rhaenyra says, “I’m sorry — I just — I’m sorry, Alicent. I’m so, so sorry.”

And her voice is pleading, and Alicent doesn’t quite realize why she’s acting as such until she realizes —

She thinks I’m going to leave again. She thinks I’m going to punish her by leaving again.

Alicent takes the hand on her cheek, holds it tight.

“Look— what’s…what’s done is done,” Alicent says, sliding Rhaenyra’s hand down slightly to kiss her palm  before letting it down — it’s okay, we’ll be okay, I’m not leaving you because of this — “And I won’t tell you not to go back, especially if you want to, but — you have to understand why I can’t just give you my wholehearted yes -”

“I don’t have to go back. If that’s what would make you happy, I don’t have to go back -”

“- Don’t do that,” Alicent warns, “don’t just — don’t make decisions based off of what you think would make me happy -”

“- What else can I do, Alicent?” Rhaenyra asks, and it’s not challenging or argumentative per se, but Alicent’s a little pissed that she’s the one Rhaenyra is trying to get to solve a dilemma she herself put them in, and she’s very pissed that the one thing Rhaenyra could have done to avoid it altogether was to literally just not fuck someone she works with —

“I don’t know!” Alicent says, running her hand through her hair, eyebrows raised. “Maybe not sleep with her in the first place -?”

Rhaenyra just gives her a look. “You just said what’s done is done -”

“Okay— well, maybe I’m actually really hurt, Rhaenyra!” Alicent exclaims. “Maybe it — I can’t stop thinking about you with her, you fucking her in spite of me -”

“It wasn’t just in spite -”

“You see how that’s worse, right -”

“Alicent.”

Rhaenyra gets off of her stool, steps towards Alicent so that she’s between her legs, cradling her face in her hands.

“I can’t take it back. I wish I could, but I can’t.” She flattens her hand against Alicent’s hair. “I don’t have to go back to the company, I don’t care about the company — but I have to know how to make it right with you. That’s the most important thing to me - Alicent.”

Rhaenyra ducks her head, gets Alicent to look at her, so Alicent does.

“You are the most important thing. You, us. You — you’re back, and — I won’t lose you again. Especially not for the sake of someone else, and especially not for a job. Not again.”

Alicent swallows, her lower lip trembling a little — and yeah, she’s a little tipsy from the heavy-handed bartenders, but it all still makes her want to cry a little.

“…Can I think about it?” Alicent asks quietly, and she thinks it’s not fair for me to do that, I can’t just take up this much space in her life, I can’t just dictate her actions, she’s going to think I’m letting her down —

“Absolutely,” Rhaenyra says, lifting Alicent’s face so she can kiss her forehead. “Take as much time as you need, darling.” She draws back, eyes imploring. “And know that if your answer is no, I will not hold any resentment towards you. Alright?”

Alicent nods. “…Alright.”

“Yeah?” Rhaenyra coos, smiles softly.

“…Yeah.”

“Tell me what I can do to help you feel better, sweet,” Rhaenyra murmurs, kissing Alicent’s forehead, drawing back. “I want you to feel alright.”

Alicent gives Rhaenyra a little smile before leaning forward and kissing her.

“Just — let’s go to bed. I just need you to— to hold me, I think.”

“That, I can do,” Rhaenyra says, and she’s taking Alicent’s hand, and leading her to their bedroom, and they’re okay, they’ll be okay, the hurt is still there but they’ll heal it.

***

They help each other out of their clothes— but gently, slowly. They have time.

(Something Alicent has had to remind herself of, lately — and something Rhaenyra does, too — is that they have time, now. Alicent is not getting on a plane tomorrow, with an unknown return date. They have time — here, in their bedroom, under the blanket of the evening, it’s theirs.)

Alicent has long since claimed one of Rhaenyra’s old t-shirts as a sleep shirt —

(Rhaenyra sheepishly admitted one night that she’d thrown out the one Alicent had worn previously after they’d broken up.)

— While Rhaenyra gets in her usual silk button-down.

Makes me feel all fancy, she’d cheekily said to Alicent once.

They brush their teeth side-by-side, Rhaenyra bumping Alicent’s hip with hers just because. They get into bed— but then Rhaenyra notices the living room light is still on, and they have to play rock-paper-scissors to decide which one of them has to leave to do it. Alicent wins.

Rhaenyra returns with a glare, tucking herself underneath the sheets, and Alicent rolls over to rest her head on Rhaenyra’s shoulder. Her hand starts smoothing along the soft skin of Rhaenyra’s stomach.

“I love you,” Alicent murmurs, pressing a kiss to Rhaenyra’s neck.

“I love you,” Rhaenyra whispers back, and she turns her head, angles it to kiss Alicent softly.

It’s chaste, at first; but then, Alicent lightly scratches at the skin of Rhaenyra’s stomach with her nails, and Rhaenyra inhales sharply before kissing Alicent a little harder, and it’s enough for Alicent to let out a soft moan, her hand rising from underneath Rhaenyra’s shirt to cradle her face, before she’s rolling on top of Rhaenyra, shifting to straddle her.

Alicent leans back in, kissing Rhaenyra deeper, fuller, before sitting up, crossing her arms to take her shirt off — Rhaenyra reaches her hands up to smooth them up along Alicent’s waist.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Rhaenyra whispers, Alicent’s lips parting as Rhaenyra’s hands cover her breasts, massaging gently before Rhaenyra rises slightly to slide her hands around Alicent’s neck and pull her down —

But Alicent stops her, pins Rhaenyra’s hands firmly at her side.

“Don’t touch,” she murmurs.

Rhaenyra just inhales slightly and nods, lying back down; Alicent undoes each button of Rhaenyra’s shirt, one by one, Rhaenyra hissing when she grinds down once —

“Shit— Alicent— are you trying to kill me,” Rhaenyra grumbles, and Alicent sees her hands fisting in the sheets.

“Be good,” she says, an impish grin on her face as she keeps going with the buttons.

“Fuck.” Rhaenyra lets out a huff. “That kind of night?”

Alicent just nods slowly.

Rhaenyra smiles, devilish.

“Good,” Rhaenyra whispers. “I’m all yours, darling.”

(Rhaenyra had recently, while hiding her face behind a throw pillow, quietly admitted to Alicent —

“I kind of love it when you use me,” after Alicent had ridden Rhaenyra’s fingers to an intense finish on the couch one night.

Alicent had to steal the pillow from Rhaenyra to cover her own face with it —

“I didn’t mean to use you, I just got a little carried away, I’m so sorry —”

“Alicent. I said I liked it.” Rhaenyra had drawn the pillow back from Alicent’s face. “I love it.”)

“Can we use it?” Alicent whispers — it being Rhaenyra’s —

— “Yeah,” Rhaenyra breathes, “Got us a new one, actually.”

“Is that so.”

“Mhm.” Rhaenyra arches a brow as she rises. “Fresh starts, and all.”

Alicent raises an eyebrow. “…Show me.”

Rhaenyra grins, moves forward as though she’s about to kiss Alicent, but —

Alicent backs away. “That’s not what I asked you to do.”

Rhaenyra rolls her eyes good-naturedly and Alicent swings her leg off of her, Rhaenyra going through her closet and putting it on, standing by the bed; she leans over to open her nightstand drawer, produces a bottle of lube and sets it on the table before sitting on the edge of the bed, hands behind her head as she leans back, all easy and charm and sexy —

“How do you want me?” Rhaenyra asks, and the question is so fucking hot that — well— Alicent honestly kind of now just wants to lie on her back and ask Rhaenyra to fuck her senseless— but instead, because self-restraint, Alicent just sits up on her knees.

“Stay like that.”

Rhaenyra nods, smiles softly.

“…What are you smiling for?” Alicent asks, a grin on her own face.

“Just like when you get like this,” Rhaenyra says simply.

“Like what?”

“…Controlling.” Rhaenyra rakes her eyes down Alicent’s body. “It’s hot.”

Alicent just grins at that before getting off the bed and bending down slowly as she slides her underwear down her legs, stepping out of them; Rhaenyra watches the entire way, and Alicent marvels at how sexy Rhaenyra makes her feel just by looking at her.

“You like when I tell you what to do?” Alicent asks, getting back on the bed and straddling Rhaenyra, just above her waist — Rhaenyra inhales sharply when she feels Alicent’s arousal against her, warm, wet, skin against skin, and it’s so good —

“Yes,” Rhaenyra breathes.

“Stay still.”

“Okay.”

Alicent slowly starts grinding against Rhaenyra’s stomach, Rhaenyra pressing her head back into her pillow and moaning Oh, Gods when she does, her hands fisting at the sheets.

“Fuck,” Alicent moans, each slide against Rhaenyra’s skin sending currents through her body—

“Do you hear that?” Alicent leans in as she continues her slow grind, her lips against Rhaenyra’s ear. “Do you hear how wet I am for you?”

“Oh, fuck-” Rhaenyra lifts her head to see where Alicent is grinding against her, brow furrowed. Alicent takes one of Rhaenyra’s hands, turns it so that it’s palm-up, presses it against herself. Both of the moan at the contact.

“- You knew what you were doing to me, didn’t you, Alicent?” Rhaenyra asks breathily, “looking like you did at the gala tonight -”

Alicent lets out a shy laugh. She lifts herself slightly, guides Rhaenyra’s hand to her mouth, guides it so she’s brushing newly-wetted fingertips to her lips, licking herself off —

“- What was I doing,” she says after —

“- Looking fucking devourable— knowing I couldn’t do anything about it until we were home -” Rhaenyra breathes out hard when Alicent takes her fingers into her mouth. “- Your fucking legs in those heels— I couldn’t stop thinking about them around my shoulders— tasting you.”

Alicent releases Rhaenyra’s hand from her mouth and sets it down at her side again.

“You want to taste me?”

“Yes.”

Alicent smiles and slowly, slowly maneuvers herself so that her knees are bracketing Rhaenyra’s head. She reaches back for Rhaenyra’s hands, brings them to her thighs. “Then taste me.”

Rhaenyra’s eyes light up with excitement, and it would almost be humorous if not for that heady sensation of Rhaenyra pulling Alicent down, her tongue lapping at her, hot and wet —

“Oh, fuck -” Alicent chokes out, her hand reaching out to brace against the headboard as Rhaenyra lavishes her, moaning like she can’t get enough, her fingertips gripping Alicent so tight that they might bruise.

She allows Rhaenyra to do as she pleases for a long while, pressing her forehead against the cool wall — until she gets close, and Alicent grabs at Rhaenyra’s hands, and Rhaenyra nods, stilling her hands and flattening her tongue for Alicent —

Gods, she’s always known what I want, how I want it —

And Alicent rides her, her hands tight around Rhaenyra’s as she chases her peak, Rhaenyra moaning underneath her, Alicent looking up to the ceiling as she comes, breathing in deep before freezing, Rhaenyra’s tongue staying flat against her as her hips shudder unevenly.

Once it’s over, she swings her leg off of Rhaenyra, sliding down to kiss her deep, tasting herself before she’s whispering into Rhaenyra’s mouth —

“Fuck me,” —

And Rhaenyra’s nodding, and Alicent gets on her stomach beside her, then on her knees, her elbows, watches and giggles slightly when Rhaenyra knocks over a lamp as she fumbles for the lube — it’s turned off, so fucking whatever — and Rhaenyra’s squeezing a dollop onto her palm, coating the length of it, lining it up against Alicent’s entrance —

“Good?” Rhaenyra whispers.

“Yes,” Alicent whines, and Rhaenyra’s pushing into her — slowly, easily, so easily, and she’s bottoming out, and Alicent is breathing hard as she adjusts —

“Okay?” Rhaenyra asks, leaning forward to kiss Alicent’s shoulder — Alicent just turns her head and says —

“I’ll tell you if it’s not — just— just fuck me,” she says. She presses her cheek to her pillow and lifts her arms for Rhaenyra to take, crossing her wrists at her hips— “Just — hold me like this and fuck me — I’ll tell you if I don’t like it, but please, just -”

Rhaenyra doesn’t ask again before she’s taking Alicent’s wrists in her hands and tugging Alicent up a little as she starts to thrust into her —

Alicent chokes out a moan —

“Yes— fuck, just like that —”

Skin slapping against skin —

“Harder, Rhaenyra — fucking harder -”

Rhaenyra’s grunting with the effort, Alicent’s moaning her pleasure out as Rhaenyra lets go of her wrists, only to hook her arms into Alicent’s elbows to hold her up further, and Alicent is close, she’s so close, she needs more to come but she doesn’t want this to stop, so she lets Rhaenyra take her however she wants, until she can’t take it anymore — she releases one of her elbows from Rhaenyra’s arm to reach down and touch herself, circling, Rhaenyra not letting down even for a moment —

“I want you to come for me,” Rhaenyra gasps, and Alicent is so close, she’s so close, Rhaenyra murmuring words of encouragement, you’re perfect, you’re so fucking sexy —

And it’s when Rhaenyra says —

“You’re mine, you’re all mine” —

That Alicent finally breaks with a wail, Rhaenyra picking up the pace when Alicent falters in her own —

“Oh— fuck— look at you,” Rhaenyra groans, and Alicent sort of stops comprehending anything after that because her orgasm hits her wave after wave —

At some point Rhaenyra lets go of Alicent’s other arm, and Alicent is pressing her face into the pillow below her and moaning loud, Rhaenyra’s hand pushing against the back of Alicent’s neck as she keeps going, Alicent’s inner thighs coated in arousal.

And Alicent is coming down, and Rhaenyra is pulling out and turning her around, on her back, kissing her deep —

“Can you go again?”

“I actually— I don’t know —”

“— I think you can —”

“Okay — oh — fuck — yes —”

***

“Alicent?”

“Hm?”

“How would you feel about moving?”

Alicent’s aimlessly scrolling on her phone, legs on Rhaenyra’s legs as they lounge on the couch, when Rhaenyra suddenly asks.

“…Moving?” Alicent asks, frowning, setting her phone down. It’s almost been a year since she returned to England, and she’s only now just starting to feel like Rhaenyra’s apartment is also hers.

Rhaenyra nods, her hands massaging Alicent’s ankles.

“Well — the last of my father’s assets have been divided,” Rhaenyra says, looking pensive, a little nervous, “and we could… well, frankly, we could afford most anything we’d want, and you would help pick — I know that you haven’t quite felt like this place is home, just yet, and, well — maybe it will, in time, but I’ve always liked the idea of fresh starts, and — erm —”

Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra. Alicent smiles at her as she rambles — flustered Rhaenyra is her favourite, because she shows up so infrequently, and only ever really around Alicent; flustered Rhaenyra feels honest, it’s unbearably charming.

Alicent rises to a sitting position, but Rhaenyra doesn’t stop talking.

“- And I don’t quite know what’s normal for a situation like ours — I mean, obviously we were together for six years, and then — well, you know — so I don’t know if this is some kind of situation where we’ve technically now only been back together for less than half a year, and it’s too soon -”

Alicent leans forward, takes Rhaenyra’s face in her hands, and kisses her soft.

“Okay,” Alicent whispers, grinning wide. “Yes. Let’s move.”

“…Yeah?”

Rhaenyra’s eyes are wide, still fretful, and it does break Alicent’s heart a little bit; she’s known this whole time that trust is something that needs to be rebuilt between them, trust that she won’t bolt again, but little moments like these serve as reminders.

“Yes,” Alicent says firmly, with no room for Rhaenyra to think she’s hesitating. “But on one condition.”

Rhaenyra frowns. “…Go on.”

“You have to let me contribute.”

“Alicent -”

Alicent raises her hand, presses a finger to Rhaenyra’s lips. “- I want to feel like it’s ours. Do you understand?”

She lowers her finger — after a moment of thinking, Rhaenyra nods.

“Alright,” she says, smiling. “Ours. It’ll be ours.”

***

It’s easy, with Rhaenyra. It’s easy all over again.

They settle on what they’re both looking for, on a budget before they begin their search. A townhouse is what their ideal residence would be, they decide; less upkeep, not too big for two people, but —

“…Not too small for three, someday?” Rhaenyra asks quietly as they scroll through listings on the dining table.

“Aegon is not going to live with us,” Alicent jokes, but Rhaenyra just looks at her with those slightly fretful eyes again, and she softens.

“How about…four? Just in case?” Alicent says. Yes, she says to Rhaenyra, still yes.

“…Yeah?” Rhaenyra asks.

“Five, even. Whatever you want, darling.” Alicent presses a kiss to Rhaenyra’s cheek. “Whatever you want. I’ll give it to you.”

“Nine?”

“Okay, let’s not go overboard -”

“Two children, a dog.”

“A small dog -”

Rhaenyra huffs. “- But I’ve always wanted a little dog and a big one, so that -”

Alicent sighs in mock exasperation. “- The big one can protect the little one, yes. Fine. Who’ll take them out for walks?”

“I would. Or the children.”

“Already shirking responsibilities to the children, I see —”

“Perhaps one of them could ride the big dog, like a horse — I’m sure there are dog saddles for children, somewhere on the internet -”

Alicent rolls her eyes. “Seems to skirt the lines of animal cruelty to me -”

“Yes, but what if it’s a massive dog and a small, small child -”

“And if the dog bolts with our child on top of it? What then?”

Rhaenyra pauses at this, brows furrowed as she seems to genuinely contemplate such a situation.

“…Okay,” she says, grinning. “No saddles.”

***

In the end, Alicent gives Rhaenyra her blessing to return to TFE. She’ll be taking over as President of their social impact department —

“As in, the part of the company that gives away money rather than makes it,” Rhaenyra says cheekily, “which means I can just take any money Aegon eventually makes and pour it elsewhere.”

— Because Rhaenyra is someone who thrives when she’s not sitting still, and Alicent knows it, and Alicent also knows what it means for Rhaenyra to still be involved in the company her father once owned. She simply will have to trust Rhaenyra, trust that she won’t stray, trust that she’ll retain boundaries with Mysaria —

(Gwayne astutely (and annoyingly) points out one day:

“Feels like you’re sort of making her into the boogeyman without her even doing anything anymore?”

And Vysella had opened her mouth to rebuke, but closed it and said:

“…Honestly, Alicent? Might have to agree with your brother on this one.”)

— And it’s not as though Rhaenyra ever makes Alicent doubt.

In her darkest moments, when she’s home alone and trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life, she does — but these thoughts are, as Gwayne said, boogeymen that Alicent is making up, monsters that speak like her father did to her — you are worth nothing, you did not listen to what I said and for that you will fail.

As for Otto — he remains radio silent. Gwayne and Alicent wonder if he’s even acknowledged the incident with Lysera, let alone his own children.

“Probably not,” Gwayne says.

“Probably not,” Alicent agrees.

***

And then, a few months later:

“Number one… gay aunt -?”

Alicent looks up from the mug to Gwayne and Vysella, brow furrowed. “…I don’t get it?”

Gwayne and Vysella just stay kind of quiet — they’re sitting on the couch while Alicent sits on the ground, unwrapping a gift Gwayne had randomly presented to her not two minutes ago.

It’s kind of obnoxiously ugly — like the kind you could maybe get at a Tesco in a particularly liberal neighbourhood, and Gwayne’s the one who’s given it to her, meaning there’s some kind of weird punchline in there —

Rhaenyra gasps first — she’s holding a matching one, but it says Number one gay uncle, which — honestly, a fitting and hilarious choice on Gwayne and Vysella’s part. Alicent turns to Rhaenyra, frowning, and —

Wait.

Gods above.

Alicent gasps aloud moments later, eyes widening at Gwayne, who kind of resembles an overfilled balloon about to burst with the way he stares at her.

“No.” Alicent looks to Vysella, who is beaming. “Tell me this isn’t a joke, you’re not joking, right - ?!”

“It’s true!” Gwayne says, grinning ear-to-ear. “You’re gay -”

“- Gwayne,” Vysella snaps, “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t make that joke —”

“Aw— come on, love, it was right there —”

Alicent sets the mug down and springs up, rounding the coffee table and launching herself at the two of them, Rhaenyra bursting up to follow — the two of them more or less dogpile Gwayne and Vysella, but Rhaenyra quickly stands and gently tugs Alicent off —

“Careful, she’s pregnant -” Rhaenyra warns, and Alicent gasps, scrambling off of Vysella, hands raised.

Vysella laughs aloud. “For the love of— I’m pregnant, not a teacup -”

“- Yes, but still,” Alicent says — her eyes are watering a little as she kneels beside Vysella and Gwayne. “Gods. Gwayne. Vysella. I’m so, so happy for you, I can’t believe this -” Alicent draws Vysella into a hug again, Rhaenyra stepping behind her to do the same with Gwayne.

“Mugs were Gwayne’s idea, for the record,” Vysella says to Alicent and Rhaenyra once they all part, red-faced and teary-eyed.

“We know,” Alicent and Rhaenyra say.

***

“Alicent?”

“Hm?”

“What’s our situation with our anniversary?” Rhaenyra asks one day, as they go for a walk.

“…How do you mean?”

“I mean — bit obvious what I mean, isn’t it?”

“Oh. Right. Um.” Alicent takes a breath, thinks. “I honestly don’t think I know?”

After some back and forth, they decide that they’ll keep their original anniversary date, but just subtract the two years they were apart, meaning their actual anniversary is coming up in mere months.

When it comes, Alicent writes Rhaenyra a card —

Rhaenyra,

Happy (seventh) anniversary.

I’m thankful I get to wake up beside you each morning, again. I’m thankful I get to hold you, again. Lost time is time lost (I don’t actually think that makes sense, and is quite redundant actually, but pretend it’s profound, please), but I can’t tell you how excited I am for the time we have ahead of us.

I want to grow old with you. I want to experience it all with you. How lucky am I, to have come back into your orbit?

Though— I suppose it’s always been that way. I suppose we were always meant to come back to each other, in the end.

How lucky am I?

All my love. I’m yours, forever.

Alicent

Rhaenyra reads it and cries, and Alicent is all abashed and says no, stop it, don’t cry, and Rhaenyra has a card for her, too —

Alicent,

My heart. My world.

I look at you and forget about everything else.

I want to look at you, always, even when I have to be looking at something else.

Thank you, endlessly, for coming home.

Thank you for loving me. I will love you just the same, if not more — definitely more.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Yours, endlessly so,

Rhaenyra

— And Alicent starts crying, and they’re all dressed to go for a fancy dinner in half an hour but then moments later Alicent’s legs are spread on the couch, Rhaenyra is on her knees between them, and they take their time — because yes, they have a dinner reservation, but they have time.

Rhaenyra is unhurried in the way she laps at Alicent, Alicent’s hand is carding through her hair, not pushing her or pulling her, soft gasps escaping from her chest as she leans her head back on the back of the couch, eyes closed, feeling, just feeling — her fingers tightening only slightly as she approaches her peak, savouring it, savouring how it feels to be on the precipice with Rhaenyra there to catch her, how it feels to be washed anew with each time she falls.

***

They end up getting takeout that night, instead, but still remain dressed up.

After they eat, Rhaenyra asks if Alicent wants to still go out, and Alicent does — so, they go to the nearest bottle store. They pick out a bottle of wine for each other. They walk around the streets of London, dressed in beautiful clothes, Rhaenyra teasing Alicent when a person walking past them does a double take upon seeing her, Alicent going bright red.

Hand in hand. Alicent thinks —

I love you, I love you, I love you —

— As she watches Rhaenyra excitedly talk about a new project she’s working on regarding charities and foundations that she wants to start, as she watches Rhaenyra strike up conversation with the pizza shop owner when they decide they’re a little peckish and want a slice, as she watches Rhaenyra fold her pizza in half vertically and takes a bite —

I love you, I love you, I love you.

***

They put in a bid on a townhouse in Kensington, and they get it. It’s easy.

Two floors, brick facade, a beautiful staircase, herringbone wood floors. Mahogany panelling. A fireplace. Some of Rhaenyra’s things come with them, but for the most part, they buy new furniture — Rhaenyra remains a good sport as she chauffeurs Alicent around furniture shops, antique shops. They pick out curtains, a bedframe, a desk, a dining table. The first thing they put in the townhouse, in an official capacity, is that framed photo of them from first year uni.

And, of course, they have Aegon, Aemond and Laenor caddy the rest of it all up.

It’s the same as the last time —

Laena, Rhaenyra, Alicent, sitting on the floor, ordering the boys around — Aegon, at one point, has to briefly leave for how frustrated he gets when the fucking dresser won't fucking come together.

“Not sure what housewarming gift to get you both,” Laena says. “Perhaps I’ll get someone to install load-bearing beams for a sex swing -”

“Laena,” Rhaenyra and Alicent growl.

***

Laena just gets them a plant, this time.

***

It’s their home. All theirs. Rhaenyra excitedly talks about all of the art she wants to buy for the walls, pores through catalogs for other pieces of furniture they’ll need, makes Alicent slow-dance with her in their sparse living room underneath the dim light of the Tiffany lamp Alicent had gotten months earlier.

Every now and then, they buy quiet little gifts for each other. Alicent will come home from Gwayne’s to find a beautiful silk scarf in a box on the bed for her; Rhaenyra will come home to find a fresh bottle of her perfume on the table with a memo pad stuck to it that just says “- A. x”. Rhaenyra will re-clasp Alicent’s gold chain, donning a new pendant, kissing the back of her neck once she does. Alicent will get Rhaenyra new cufflinks, jackets, shoes.

“Are you happy, my love?” Alicent murmurs into Rhaenyra’s neck as they sway to some blues record Rhaenyra had picked up at a thrift store.

“Never been happier,” Rhaenyra says in response, pressing a kiss to the side of Alicent’s head.

***

It’s not without hiccups, though.

Alicent starts interviewing for positions in public relations — not corporate, she’s decided, because she never wants to deal with crusty old men who put their hands on her waist too often ever again.

She’s telling Rhaenyra about a listing she’s found for a boutique agency in need of a new leader, showing it to her, when Rhaenyra says, rather stiffly —

“…It’s in America?”

Alicent frowns, taking her phone — and Rhaenyra’s right. The listing is American.

“Oh. Annoying,” Alicent grumbles, “they make the location text far too small -”

And Rhaenyra says “…I need a minute” and she’s off to the balcony, and Alicent is confused at first — it’s an honest mistake, and truly, they make the locations of these blasted listings tiny — but then, the heartache of realization settles in.

She steps out onto the balcony, where Rhaenyra is gripping at the railing with her hands spread apart, staring out at the sky.

“Rhaenyra?” Alicent says gently, standing beside her, placing her hand on one of Rhaenyra’s. “It was just a mistake — truly, I have no ambition to go back -”

“- I know.” Rhaenyra’s voice is brittle, quiet.

Trust.

They have to trust each other.

They have to ask each other hard questions.

“Then what’s wrong, darling?” Alicent takes Rhaenyra’s hand off the railing, turns Rhaenyra to face her. “I’m not — I’m not leaving. Not again.”

Rhaenyra won’t meet her eyes — Alicent sees that they’re a little glazed, like she might cry, and if Rhaenyra cries, Alicent will cry, so she cradles Rhaenyra’s face in her hands.

“I’m not leaving,” Alicent says firmly.

Rhaenyra places a hand over one of Alicent’s. “I know,” she says softly, “but— I also— I also don’t know -?”

Alicent doubles down. “We have a home here, together, Rhaenyra,” she says, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “This is my home. You are my home, you know this.”

“- I know, but I also just — I know it’s silly, I don’t mean to — to be this insecure, it’s silly, but -”

“Rhaenyra.” Alicent ducks her head, moves her free hand to tuck it under Rhaenyra’s chin to lift it. “It’s not silly. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m not. Alright?”

“…Okay.” And Rhaenyra sounds a little bit like a child again, and Alicent’s heart is breaking a little bit again.

“Come here, sweetling,” she murmurs, drawing Rhaenyra into her, a hand cradling the back of her head. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers into Rhaenyra’s hair, “I’m so sorry that the — the hurt is still there — but I want you to know that I know, and — it’ll be alright, we’re good.”

“Okay,” Rhaenyra says again, sniffling slightly, her arms winding around Alicent’s waist, tucking her nose into the crook of Alicent’s neck.

And here, as Alicent holds beautiful Rhaenyra on their beautiful balcony with their beautiful view—

She makes a decision, then and there.

***

Otto Hightower has always had a knack for showing up in places he isn’t expected to be — whether it’s in Alicent’s head as a voice of retribution, a wedding, perhaps around an otherwise unassuming corner.

But Rhaenyra gets the door when someone knocks and comes back to Alicent with a grim look on her face.

“What?” Alicent says, her heart rate increasing, “what is it? Who is it?”

“It’s your father,” Rhaenyra says. 

Alicent goes through a myriad of potential responses — send him away, call the police — but she just sets her jaw. Nods.

“Let him in.”

“Do you want me here? Or downstairs?” Rhaenyra asks softly, as they wait for Otto to make his way up with bated breath.

“…Downstairs, for now, I think,” Alicent says.

“Alright.” Rhaenyra lifts Alicent’s hand, kisses it. “But if I hear raised voices…”

“I know, darling,” Alicent says, smiling at her, their embrace from yesterday on the balcony still fresh in her mind —

— I know what I have to do to have her understand that I love her, that I trust her, that I’ll love her forever —

And there’s a knock on the door, and Otto is standing there, and Alicent has missed him despite herself.

“Father,” she says, tone indifferent. “Come in.”

He looks older, somehow. Wearier. He comes in, and he looks almost shy to be there, and Alicent doesn’t know how to act, and it’s clear that he doesn’t, either. They never have, really — they’ve never really known how to talk to each other.

“Here — sit,” Alicent says, gesturing to the dining table. “Would you like tea? Water?”

“Tea would be lovely,” Otto says, smiling a little.

Alicent nods, going into the kitchen to put the kettle on, preparing two mugs, focusing entirely on the process of that so she doesn’t spiral into the various possibilities of what her father could possibly be doing here.

When she emerges from the kitchen, Otto’s sat at the dining table, looking around the townhouse, a pensive look on his face. Alicent sets his tea down in front of him — Earl Grey, as always — and sits across from him.

“Thank you. It’s a lovely home,” Otto says, gesturing around.

“Thank you.” Alicent takes a sip of her tea. “What’s the occasion, father?”

Otto stares down at his tea for a moment, a finger tracing the curve of the mug’s handle — and it’s then that Alicent realizes he’s not wearing his wedding band.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, Alicent — for quite some time now, actually — well — it’s not easy, is it?” He chuckles, a little mirthlessly, and Alicent just watches him.

His glance flits up to her as he clocks her lack of reaction, and he continues.

“I suppose I’ll just — get right into it.” He sighs deeply. "It — well — I'll start with this."

Alicent waits. Doesn't give him anything.

"...When your mother died,” Otto says, not looking up. He rubs his face, weary. “It…broke something… within me.” He places a hand on his heart. “Something in here — not something so easy like my heart — but something I — I couldn’t name.”

Oh.

Alicent feels her throat tighten, bites the inside of her cheek — if he’s here to make excuses, to tell me that I’ve been unaccommodating of his loss —

“…I wasn’t the same man after that. Your mother was the light of my life, Alicent. You learn to love someone, and you take it for granted that they’ll be there, that you’ll… you’ll grow old with them.”

Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra.

“And I pray to the Gods that you and Gwayne never have to experience that, ever — I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone -”

“We lost a mother, too,” Alicent says in return, and she doesn’t mean for her voice to sound so bitter, but it does, because her father was a fully-grown man when her mother died, and Alicent was a child, Gwayne was a child.

“Yes,” Otto says, nodding. “You did. It’s a terrible thing.”

He sits there silently for a while longer, and Alicent feels fit to burst with slight frustration.

“Why have you come here?” she asks.

Otto clears his throat. “To… well— I suppose I’m here to — to apologize.”

And Alicent almost has to ask him to say it again, because she’s convinced she’s misheard, she’s convinced — but instead, she stays silent, eyebrows raised, what is going on —

“I was never very good at this sort of thing,” Otto says, voice still a little light, “was I?”

“No,” Alicent says firmly. “You were not.”

“Yes, well. Bear with me — I understand you and Gwayne have… made your decision — but bear with me, just this once, and I will — I will respect that.”

Alicent says nothing.

“You have to understand, Alicent— I was raised to believe that— that men were to bottle up their grief, handle it on their own. And I tried, by the Gods, I tried — but— but it twisted something within me — twisted me into someone I stopped recognizing. And Lysera…” He sighs, rubbing his eyes again. “She was the first woman to — to show me kindness in a time where I needed it -”

Nope.

“- Father,” Alicent says quietly, her voice dark. “Gwayne and I were right there. We were right there, and we needed you. You were our father, and you sought comfort elsewhere — in a woman who hated us from the start -”

“I know,” Otto says, and Alicent’s been expecting him to lash out at her this whole time, waiting with bated breath, but it hasn’t come yet. “And I want you to know that I know I was wrong. I wanted— I wanted nothing more than to hold on to you both — to keep you shielded from my own grief, caustic and overwhelming as it was — but…in the end, I made you both disappear, didn’t I? Pushed you both away?”

Alicent’s eyes prickle with tears. Don’t you fucking cry.

“Why are you here, father?” she asks again, because it still sounds like he’s making excuses— “To be absolved by me? By Gwayne?” Alicent shakes her head. “Because absolution is not something I can give to you.”

Otto says nothing. Just stares down at his tea.

Alicent continues. “You— you hurt me — wounded me, almost beyond repair, I’ve only just learned that I can still fix what you broke inside of me — you don’t understand the sheer hatred you instilled within me towards myself, the — the shame I’ve felt for my mere existence— because of you -!”

“You have to understand, Alicent — I was harsh on you because I wanted more for you -”

“I didn’t!” Alicent exclaims.

She almost tells herself don’t you fucking cry again, but she doesn’t have to. It doesn’t matter.

He can’t hurt her.

He is in her home, where she is safe, where Rhaenyra is downstairs to keep her safe.

So, she allows her eyes to well.

“I didn’t want what you wanted for me — I was a child,” she says, “All I knew was that I loved you, and you just kept - you kept punishing me for it.” She wipes away at her tears. “Time and time again, you punished me for it — and what about me? What of what I needed, what I wanted from you?”

Otto’s eyes are downturned as he listens.

“Alicent,” he says, and his voice is brittle, and — is he about to — he looks up, and his eyes are misty, and it’s a look Alicent has not seen since her mother died. “I’m so sorry.”

Alicent shakes her head. “It’s not enough.”

“I know.” Otto pauses. “I’ve left Lysera.”

Alicent can’t help the little scoff she lets out. “Good for you.”

“She — she laid hands on you — after that night, I — I asked her to leave, demanded it — I saw what kind of person she was that evening -”

“The kind of person she was?” Alicent is bewildered. “For the love of the Gods, father — that person was there the whole time. Right in front of you. Right under your nose. You became a shell, then you let her — puppeteer you, because you were weak, and Gwayne and I suffered for it.”

A flash of something dangerous in Otto’s eyes, before it’s replaced with that sadness again, and Alicent doesn’t know which of the two she prefers.

“I know,” he says, and he’s so weary, and Alicent has missed him and she hates herself for missing him —

“Do you know what it’s like?” Alicent asks, and there are tears streaming down her face, and she is being as honest as she can because after this, she never wants to see him again, but he has to know what he’s done to her, how he’s slowly and methodically pulled her apart.

“Do you, father? For us to have lost mother, and — and then Gwayne left for school, and you were all I had left, and you were ashamed of me, because Lysera told you to be, and you let her. I lived my life trying to — to make you proud of me, to make you feel like my mother could still be proud of me. And — I was a child, and— and you were all I had -”

Alicent can’t help the sob that erupts from her chest — the catharsis of saying this aloud, the sheer pain of saying it to him — as though this knot of pain that’s lived in her chest for as long as she’s known is bursting at the seams, escaping from her throat, and it’s painful, and she hates him —

And Otto’s tearing up, too, and she hates him for that, as well — how dare you cry, how dare you —

Alicent raises a hand to her mouth to muffle her next sob before she takes a deep breath, swallows the lump in her throat down — it hurts, it hurts, it hurts —

“I’d like you to leave, I think,” she says quietly.

Otto sniffles, nods, rises, walks towards the door — but then, he pauses. Turns.

“…I want you to know this, Alicent:” he says, and his voice is hoarse and Alicent hates him —

“For the rest of my life, I will regret it. I will regret how long it took for me to see what was in front of me — how I— I hid from it. Because, well — it was the easy thing to do, wasn’t it? But I see now. I do. And — I do not delude myself with fanciful notions of — earning yours and Gwayne’s love back — that it would be in any way easy, if even possible.” He meets Alicent’s eyes. “And I’m sorry that it took losing you and your brother for me to realize all of this.”

Alicent just looks down at the table, her heart hurts, it hurts, he used to love her, they used to be a family —

“And I see now, Alicent,” he continues. “I see that you have always been enough. The — the impressive young woman you are. And damn what Lysera said to you that night. Your mother would be proud of who you’ve become. I am proud of who you’ve become.”

It’s too late, Alicent wants to say, so she says it —

“It’s too late, father,” she says quietly. “I’ve lived my entire life on your terms — and I will not accept your apology on your terms.”

Otto is silent for a while. “…I understand.”

Alicent lets out a watery scoff. “You should have — you should have said this sooner. You should have protected us.”

“…Yes. I should have.”

And, because she can’t bear to look at him, because she can’t bear to stand —

“Goodbye, father.”

He stands there for a minute longer.

“…Take care of yourself, Alicent.”

And he’s closing the door behind him, and he’s gone, and she will never forgive him, ever, even though she missed him, even though he’s said everything she’s ever wanted him to say to her, but it’s too late —

“Alicent?” Rhaenyra’s voice sounds from downstairs. “Is he gone?”

“Yes,” Alicent says. “Can you — can you come up here — I -”

And Rhaenyra is appearing beside her, and Rhaenyra is sitting beside her, and Alicent breaks in two in front of her — hold me, please, hold me, I need you to hold me together before I break completely, irreparably — and Rhaenyra does, she does —

Stroking Alicent’s hair, murmuring it’s alright. It’ll be alright. Shh, darling. I love you. It’s alright.

And, for the first time, when it comes to matters of Otto Hightower —

Alicent believes her. As she twists her hands in Rhaenyra’s shirt, soaking the fabric on her shoulder, as Rhaenyra holds her head gently —

Alicent believes her.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

***

Gwayne was right. Alicent said all she wanted to say, and she still feels…hollow. She feels a distinct sense of grief — grief she hasn’t allowed herself to feel for her father, because grief would mean acceptance — acceptance that the man he once was ceased to exist, the loving father he was faded away with time.

“Did he come to you, too?” Alicent asks Gwayne over the phone.

“No. He didn’t.” Gwayne pauses. “But I think that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah.” Alicent sniffles. “I think so, too.”

And right now, Alicent can't fathom a world in which she forgives their father — but it's alright. A decision she can make. Hers, and hers alone.

***

They pack to leave for Marseilles, again — one last vacation before Alicent starts her new job next month, at a public relations agency with a variety of clients.

Some are even celebrities, which makes her and Rhaenyra laugh and curse Lysera out at the same time — and it feels right. It’s right. 

When Rhaenyra leaves the room to shower, Alicent packs a little velvet box within one of her shoes, in her suitcase.

***

They’re waiting for their train when they get the call — Alicent’s had her phone on silent, so it’s Rhaenyra who picks her phone up.

“It’s Gwayne?” Rhaenyra says, frowning as she picks up. “Gwayne? You alright, love -?”

Alicent quickly gets her own phone out to see that she’s missed three calls from him, and a series of texts:

Group chat: Gwayne, Vysella, Rhaenyra, Alicent

Gwayne It’s happening

Gwayne PICK UP

Gwayne BABY OTW. NOT A DRILL.

“Holy shit.” Rhaenyra turns to Alicent, who shows Rhaenyra her phone, eyes wide.

They’re running to hail a taxi within seconds.

***

“Vysella — Vysella Hightower,” Alicent breathes to the reception, who tells her what room they’re in — her and Rhaenyra rush towards it, their suitcases rolling in tow, comedic, almost —

They knock on the door — “come in”, Gwayne says —

And there they are, Gwayne and Vysella, and —

Vysella is holding a baby to her chest, a blanket over the two of them. She smiles, exhausted, raises a finger to her lips as Alicent breathes in, sharp, tears in her eyes already, for fuck’s sake —

“A girl,” Gwayne says softly, and his eyes are puffy from crying as well. “Vysella did so well — ”

“Can I— can I see her?” Alicent breathes, approaching Vysella, sitting slowly at her side.

Vysella just smiles, draws the blanket back slightly, and Alicent sees her face, sleeping —

Her niece’s face, her niece’s perfect, beautiful face —

“She’s beautiful, Vysella — Gods above -”

Rhaenyra is bent over beside Alicent as she stares at the child, tears in her eyes, too.

“Her name is Elora,” Gwayne says, and it’s after Alicent stares at her brother for a moment that she fully breaks into tears, standing to throw her arms around her brother.

Elora.

Their mother’s name.

“Hello, Elora, darling,” Rhaenyra coos, taking Alicent’s spot as she and Gwayne embrace. “What a vision you are. Vysella, I’m so proud of you, you beautiful little thing.”

“I love you, Gwayne,” Alicent murmurs, kissing her brother’s cheek, then going to Vysella, kissing the top of her head. “And you, Vysella — my darling sister -”

“Wait — okay — Alicent — I love you too, but your brother’s forgotten— tell her Elora’s middle name?” Vysella cuts in, looking at Gwayne, eyebrows raised.

“Oh — shit — I mean — shoot —” Gwayne huffs. “Whatever, shit, fuck, she doesn’t understand English yet, but anyway —” he takes a breath.

Looks at Alicent.

“Elora Alicent Hightower,” he says, and Alicent’s a mess again —

Leaning into him saying I love you, I love you both, I love her, I’ll love her forever, I’ll protect her with my life —

“The best woman I’ve ever known,” Gwayne says softly — “no offence, Vysella -”

Vysella is all eyes on Elora as she says, “None taken -”

He draws back, taking Alicent’s shoulders in his hands, face severe. “Now — stop crying and making this about you, and tell me how to not panic about this —”

“- Gwayne.” Alicent sniffles, shaking her head. “You don’t have to panic. You’re wonderful.” She turns to Vysella, again. “You’re wonderful. She’s so lucky to have you as parents.”

She looks to Rhaenyra, who looks up at Alicent — adoration in her eyes, tears in her eyes — and Alicent knows, she knows.

“I hope you both hadn’t already boarded the train,” Vysella says, apologetic.

“Nope,” Rhaenyra says, reassuringly, “we were at the station.” She rises. “Can we get you anything? Food? Sweets? More blankets? Anything?”

“…Actually,” Vysella says, “if you happen to — some trousers would be nice, sweatpants, perhaps — mine got a little ruined, on account of the baby —”

“Yes — one second,” Alicent says, and she’s bending down, rummaging through her suitcase — her and Vysella are roughly the same size, and she’s fairly certain she packed a pair of sweatpants —

And then, she sees the shoe that holds that little velvet box she’d meant to bring with her to Marseilles. And they probably won't go now, not with a baby here — so Alicent's going to have to rethink her plan, which makes her feel a little sick, actually, because she'd had a whole thing planned for Marseilles and has been spending sporadic periods of time panicking that Rhaenyra wouldn't want to —

For now, she looks back to make sure no one’s watching before pocketing the box, and pulls out a pair of sweats. “Here, love.”

“Oh, bless you,” Vysella says, breathing out, reaching for them. “Gwayne and I forgot the overnight bag, my sister is bringing it here soon —”

And a doctor is entering, all smiles, asking Vysella how she’s feeling, if she can run a few little routine tests, if only Gwayne could stay — and Rhaenyra’s leading Alicent out of the room, the two of them sitting in the waiting chairs just outside.

A calm settles across Alicent after they sit — Rhaenyra’s still holding her hand tight, and Alicent can’t get the look on Rhaenyra’s face out of her head — the one staring adoringly at Elora, at Alicent, and Alicent knows, she knows, she's always known.

“Feeling alright?” Rhaenyra murmurs, lifting Alicent’s hand to her lips.

“Very,” Alicent says, wiping away at the last of her tears. “Gods, I’ve become such a crier, I need to tone it down -”

“But you’re so pretty when you cry,” Rhaenyra says, and Alicent just glares at her, and Rhaenyra grins back — mischievous, adoring, and Alicent knows, she knows, and her face softens as she gazes at Rhaenyra —

Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra —

And Rhaenyra’s frowning —

“Alicent? Everything okay?”

Alicent knows, she knows, she does — she’s always known, but it’s something she’s truly known since that day on their balcony— Rhaenyra crying at the prospect of losing her again, the prospect of Alicent leaving again, and Rhaenyra has to know, too —

She has to know that Alicent will never leave her again. She has to know that Alicent wants to grow old and grey with her, she wants to have as many children as Rhaenyra wants, the little dog and the big dog, all of it.

Alicent lifts her hips slightly to take the box out of her pocket.

Don’t think twice. You know. Don’t think twice.

“I wanted to — to do this in Marseilles,” Alicent mutters, “all romantic with champagne and candles, and now we’re in— well, a hospital, and maybe I should have waited, actually, but — well, I suppose I’ve started now, so.”

Rhaenyra stares at the box. “…What is that.”

Alicent continues, because she’s gained momentum now, and she can’t lose it — not in this moment —

“- But —I can’t wait another moment, Rhaenyra, not after this -”

“Alicent -?”

Alicent looks around them — the hall is more or less empty, doesn’t seem like she’ll get in the way or become a tripping hazard — and she gets up.

Turns to Rhaenyra.

She gets down on one knee.

Rhaenyra’s eyes are wide. "Alicent -?"

“I love you, Rhaenyra,” Alicent says, and fuck it, she’s just going to cry again, why the fuck not, “I’ve loved you since the first day I walked into that tiny little dorm room, I’ve loved you all the way to now — even when we were apart, I loved you —”

Rhaenyra remains quiet, her eyebrows lifting, slanting as her lower lip trembles —

Alicent opens the box — a beautiful ring Laena had helped her pick out — a gold band with a diamond, dainty but still bold, still Rhaenyra —

“Marry me, Rhaenyra,” Alicent says softly, her voice wavering a little. “You are the love of my life, you are my best friend, you’ve made my life better in ways I didn’t even know were possible." Alicent sniffles. "Marry me. Be my wife. I'm yours, forever, and — and I know that it's just a ring, a symbol, but I need you to know that I'm here to stay, I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours."

And Alicent is shaking as she looks up at Rhaenyra — she hasn’t considered the possibility Rhaenyra would say no, but right now, as she kneels in front of her —

My love, my heart —

There’s a moment where she thinks she’s maybe doing the wrong thing, maybe Rhaenyra thinks she’s foolish for proposing in a literal hospital hallway — she starts to feel that prickling feeling of shame —

But then, because of course she does, Rhaenyra is leaning towards her, tears are flowing down her face as she smiles, unbidden, saying —

Yes, Alicent — of course yes, yes, yes, yes —

Their tears are intermingling as Rhaenyra kisses her once, twice, laughing, giddy, and Alicent can see Rhaenyra’s hand trembling as she fits the ring on her fourth finger, and Alicent is trembling, too —

As Rhaenyra gazes at the ring for a moment before she leans forward to kiss her again —

“I love you, Alicent, my darling, of course I’ll marry you, I’d marry you today if I could, in this hospital hallway even —”

I love you, I love you, I love you —

***

Hi, I’m Alicent.

Hi — my name’s Rhaenyra.

I know who you are.