Archive of Our Own

"Oh, my gosh! Carmilla, come on, you have to meet them, they're awesome, Susan's gonna love you," she turned suddenly to the two girls, who had ducked back into the room. 

"Danny! Perry! Where's Susan?" Carmilla felt her chest seize up, and muttered an excuse about going back to her dorm to shower. Laura looked at her, confused, but waved her off with a promise about seeing her at lunch.

Carmilla bit her lip and walked back to her room, breathing fast.

"Jeez, Laura, it's like you've gotten even shorter. Next year I'm gonna have to lay down to hug you." Danny laughed, full in her chest, and Laura smiled at the comfort of her heartbeat against her ear. She pulled back.

"Oh, shut up, werewolf. You'll never believe who's here-"

"Is that Laura Hollis I hear, in mine own dorm room?" A smile walked through the door, followed by Perry.

"Susan! My dad asked about you like, fifteen times. I told him that you were in the Himalayas studying the effects of high altitude on different brands of soda to get him off of my back. Guess what he said. He literally smiled and went, 'Oh, good for her! It's good that she's following her passions, whatever they are.' He would believe that about you, but he didn't believe me when I said Danny was taking a break from sports." she turned to Danny, unpacking her suitcase. "He knows you so well." Susan laughed, blushing.

"What can I say? Drinking soda in high altitudes just really gets me going." Laura turned to Perry.

"How'd you swing getting us all in the same room?" 

"Are you kidding?" Susan laughed, "She's the epitome of Catholic. Staff loves her." Perry smiled.

"But the younglings are terrified of me."

"I'd be terrified of someone who slaps the sin clean off of my face too." Perry rolled her eyes, nudging Susan with her shoulder.

"I do not hit my kids." 

"Alright, Mama Bear." Laura laughed, her chest light. It was good to be back. Danny turned to her.

"What were you saying earlier?"

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, guess who's here."

Yes, she thought. It just makes sense.

The bell for lunch had rung a few minutes before, and she was walking slowly towards the mess hall.

And it did make sense.

But she was alone then, and it's always easier to choose solitude when you're alone.

Before she turned down the hallway for Mess, she heard the music of a crowd. Closing her eyes, she imagined it a song:
The bass of a hundred conversations, the sharp, staccato laughter and sporadic shouts. But there was no beat. It was more of a cacophony.

She turned around, towards the crowd. It was the door.

The really big door. 

It was open.

It was a large room; a cavernous sort of thing with the air of a church, but full of long tables and human heat. At the far end of the room, there was a small, marbled stage of sorts with an elegant table front and center. The Headmaster was in the middle.
Deputy Anne sat at his left, but Carmilla didn't recognize anyone else. She thought of a courtroom. A panel of strangers deciding your fate. She had always liked that concept. 

The tables were mostly half full. Groups of girls sat in clusters. First, the core it all, were friends. They were surrounded by friends of friends, some listening in to the core conversation and others speaking amongst themselves. There were satellites of acquaintances. A few girls sat alone, in between the planets, free-floating debris, quiet. Plates of glorious foods adorned all of the tables, but they were untouched.

It just makes sense.

Really, I wouldn't be good for her.

No good, but even as she thought it, the idea hurt her. 

I couldn't- I won't do that to her.

She was being pulled, a strong hand on her sweater sleeve.

Laura Hollis deserved better.

Voices got louder and surrounded Carmilla. She was sat down at the end of one of the tables.

It was decided. 

She would have nothing to do with-

"Carmilla, okay, so this is Susan LaFontaine," Laura gestured to a girl with bright red hair, messy and past her shoulders, and a mischievous glint in her eye. Carmilla smiled slightly at her.

"And this is Lola Perry, we call her Perry, she's basically the ambassador of Third Form to staff. She has loads of kids,-"

"They are not my children!" Perry turned to Carmilla. "I simply keep the Lowers out of trouble." Susan smiled. 

"Yeah, so, they're her kids and she loves them dearly-" Perry nudged Susan and let out an exasperated sigh, hiding a smile. Laura and the other tall redhead laughed.

Laura looked at Carmilla, across the table. 

Her smile- she felt warm. Her eyes reminded Carmilla of before, years and years before, of a New Year's Eve spent with her entire family. Oma handed out sparklers to all of the kids, and though they were all about six, they lit them by themselves and stood on the roof of their apartment building, stuck in a wondrous trance. Carmilla thought she was holding a star.

She clenched her fists on her thighs to stop herself from reaching out to her.

(With her hands, anyway.)

She hadn't noticed until their feet met; instinctively, she touched her calf to the Laura's.
Laura smiled again, her cheeks flushed a soft pink that made Carmilla want to-

"And this," she turns to the tall redhead beside her, "is Danielle Lawrence." 

Carmilla tensed, a knee-jerk reaction to hearing the name. As Danny huffed about her name and Susan laughed and laughed, Laura brushed her calf against Carmilla's reassuringly, looking up into stormy eyes.

Why..?

Carmilla sat up, pulling her feet back, adjusting her posture the way she would when her mother came home. She looked at Danny.

"I hear you met a Karnstein and thought she was a bitch," she said, casually. Susan oooh'd while Perry looked anxiously at Laura. Danny nodded, her gaze steady.

"You met my mother, and you were absolutely right."